When editing anything you write, from short emails to 50-page reports, your guiding rule of thumb should always be: if a word does not help convey my message, delete it. If it does not clarify, it clutters. For example, while the following sentence gets its point across: “We would like to convey the ability we have to provide the industry’s highest level of customer service with certified and trained support personnel,” it gets the point across even better after cutting a few words and moving a key phrase into the subject position: “Our certified, trained support personnel provide the industry’s highest level of customer service.” Keep an eye out for empty strings of words like this: “would like to convey the ability we have to.” The whole thing can be 86ed.
Executive Writer
Business Writing Training